I’m sure you will. ;)
I just thought sex was a horrible, nasty thing. Being a 16 year old girl, who’s boyfriend had decided it was time for us to “take it to the next level”, wasn’t at all special and mind blowing as I was taught it would be. My friends would brag on how good it felt and how wonderful it made them feel. They would tell these wonderful stories on how close they were to their boyfriends now. Already talking about getting married and having children. They didn’t tell me that when a 17 year old boy “gets going” that it is almost impossible to stop him. I mean I let him do it. He didn’t force me physically. It was mostly a mental game with him. After all, cheerleaders and jocks are suppose to hook up and have sex, right?
Turning 17 a month later and breaking up with my jock boyfriend that same day seemed like the right thing to do. I mean I wasn’t happy. I was never really happy around him after our one time rump in his 4x4 on a dirt road by the railroad tracks. The romance wasn’t there. Was I just with the wrong guy? My friends didn’t seem to think so. Some even turned on me for breaking it off with him. Give him a chance they said. He’s a good guy they said. They didn’t say that a week later he would be fucking one of the girls who kept telling me to stay with him. I sort of felt happy about it. I thought it would be over and done with now that he had moved on. Boy was I wrong. Up until the summer break he had tried numerous times to get back with me. I couldn’t tell Sammie that her new boyfriend was trying to have sex with his ex girlfriend. She wouldn’t believe me anyway.
Thank God for summer breaks. Time to really move on and focus on senior year. Maybe I won’t cheer this year. Stay away from the jocks and Kevin all together. I could do that. Get better grades and only focus on college. Get out of this place and never look back. Lying on my back in my bed daydreaming of a better world down the road put me in such a trance that I didn’t even hear her come in. “Amy?” “You ok?”